You Can Remove the Wrapping from Sausages?

So… I was today year’s old when I realized the wrapping around sausages could be removed. 🤦🏾‍♀️ I’ve been fussing with/eating that shit for years.

Did y’all know this? Also, I hope you are doing well! I’ve just been over here working and trying to figure out how to have a safe hot girl summer (too much shit going on in the world). Anyways, I’ll talk to you later this week — gotta hit the gym.

Dick-looking chicken sausages that I got from Whole Foods.
A photograph of Shanté looking skeptical.

The Girls Are Fraaaudiiiing!

The internet thiefs were thiefing the fuck out, y’all. As soon as I stepped into Whole Foods yesterday morning, I received a text from Chase Bank asking if I had tried to make a purchase for about $100 at a flower shop in California. (No. No, I did not.) I respond “NO,” as the message prompted me to and went on about my business. Hours later, I received a message about a one-time access code for my Chase Mobile Wallet from the email address olb.automatic. Sketchy, much? I immediately hopped on Google to see if that wallet thing existed, found out it’s real but still felt unsettled about the email address and the morning’s fraudulent activity, so I called up Chase.

Initially, the rep, in a panic, told me not to open the email (I had already opened it) because it wasn’t from them but they eventually confirmed that it was by reading the email off to me. About five minutes after that, something told me to check my debit card (yesterday morning’s text was about my credit card, by the way) and lo and behold: the frauds were frauding over there too. One “Netflix” charge and some other random charge later and both of my cards are cancelled. *Deep negro spiritual sigh* Dis tew much.

Luckily, I still have access to my funds, so it’s not the end of the world. I just don’t understand how this happened to both cards on the same day. I only used my debit card to pay bills and get groceries. Have those companies been hacked? Ion know. I locked my credit in case the thief felt like elevating, though.

How y’all doin’?